Amathea's Doubting

The paralyzing sting of cool water wrapped around my hands, numbing them as I plunged them deeper into the fountain. Today was the Festival of the Sea, a day meant for showing one’s utmost respect to Poseidon, the god of the sea. I washed the remaining dirt off my fingers and scratched out the grime underneath my fingernails. I quickly proceeded to enter. The Temple of Poseidon is our town’s pride, with its ornate domes and thick ivory pillars adorned with intricate designs and paintings. At the front of the Temple lies Poseidon’s symbol, carved in aquamarine, a blue-green precious stone whose colour is reminiscent of the sea. 

The bell rang, chiming throughout the town for all to hear and gather. Once everyone had settled, the parade marching to the sea began. The crowd slowly progressed through the town’s muddy streets, and people held their sacrifices proudly in the air, ready to be burnt for Poseidon. I never understood why one must sacrifice so much to appease the gods, as we are taught that they already live lavishly on Mount Olympus. Over three quarters of my food is fed into fires, burnt until they are reduced to ashes and the pungent smoky smell emits and wafts towards the sky so that the gods may find our offerings satisfactory and spare us from our inevitable deaths. 

The money I make mostly goes to buying these offerings, which leaves hardly enough to afford my living expenses. While trapped in a whirlwind of curious and somewhat annoyed thoughts, a familiar male voice echoes throughout my head, bringing me back to reality.

“Amathea!” he yelled over the crowd. I whipped my head towards the back of the bustling crowd, spotting him instantly. I answered back,

“Anchises!”

He ran towards me, holding a bottle of fine wine as an offering. Anchises has been my closest friend for what seems like eternity. Although we have constantly bickered and fought, we are the most loyal to each other. I thrust my hand out for Anchises to catch onto, but the trampling crowd made it difficult for him to latch onto my outstretched hand. 

Weaving through the sea of people moving in the opposite direction, I finally turned into a small alleyway and yanked Anchises’ hand, pulling him into the alley with me. 

A melancholy feeling melted into my chest; perhaps it was seeing the amount of food wasted or maybe the fact that many of these people will go hungry for days after spending so much on offerings.

When Anchises was next to me in the alley, I confided in him the heavy feelings that I had been feeling recently. “Do you think that the gods are even real? Because we ask Poseidon for safe voyages by sea but the recent shipwreck proves otherwise. Or when we ask Demeter for a good harvest, we are met with withering crops and unfruitful plants that yield no fruit whatsoever. I’ve believed in them since I was born, but now especially, I’m starting to doubt that they really exist.” I looked up at him, reading him to sense what he was thinking. “I’m scared, Anchises. I don’t want them to banish me for my traitorous and unfaithful thoughts.”

He sighed. “So am I. I witness the corruption of priests everyday. They pocket the change we offer to the gods and offer faster petitions to certain guards for a substantial amount of money. It isn’t right that the hard earned money that we make goes to them nor to gods that probably don’t exist.” 

“Yes,” I agreed, “I didn’t realize that you felt the same way.”

The bell echoed throughout our small seaside town, chiming while sweet music filled the air, warning residents to meet by the beach that the ceremony was about to begin.

Anchises pulled me back onto the main street and whispered hurriedly, “Let’s tell the people that they’re wrong, that the gods probably don’t exist and they’re wasting their time and money.”

“Are you sure that it’ll work?” I stammered. “People here are very faithful, blindly trusting the gods with their lives, and they’ll likely shun us and banish or imprison us. As much as I want to do it, it’s too risky, Anchises.”

As we drew nearer to the beach, echoes of the tumultuous crowd started to grow louder and louder. Faint smells of burnt food could be smelt, and heavy dark gray clouds of smoke were emitted into the air.

A small smile crept onto Anchises’ face as he said slowly, “I think I have an idea.”

“What is it?” I asked curiously, waiting for him to share his insights to me.

“Why don’t we set the beach on fire and then run away? Then we won’t face punishment for desertment and the people will soon realize that no god can save them because they simply don’t exist.” He said wickedly.

I slapped his hand. “Anchises, that’s a terrible idea, dozens of people could be injured for no good reason at all. We’ll just escape. Then no one can get hurt and we can live good lives without the constant pressure of others finding out how unfaithful we are.”

He sighed reluctantly. “There’s no fun in that, but I supposed you’re right. Let’s flee to somewhere where ideology isn’t fully integrated into everyday life.”

“Then shall we attend the festival and then escape tonight?” I asked him, “Will you know the way?”

“Amathea, you can trust me with your life.” He replied, before gently kissing me on the lips. “Midnight. By the stables, okay?”

I nodded. “I’ll be there.”

We parted ways, but a small lingering flame of hope stayed with me, refusing to be extinguished. After hours upon hours of watching people pour and sweep piles of food dedicated to Poseidon into flaming bonfires, the festival ended and I went home to make preparations for my upcoming flight. I waited desperately for midnight to come. While waiting, I went into a pensive mood, wondering about my new life ahead. 

Would it be similar to life now, with strict rules that everyone must worship random mythological people? Or maybe I’ll finally be free. Free from worrying thoughts of being caught, free from doubting my faith that I was taught to believe in, and free of the Greek lifestyle itself. With a swift tap on my back, I turned around, scared that a stranger had spotted me, but I was met with the friendly face of Anchises.

“You’re early.” He stated. “Are you ready to go yet?”

“Yes, I think so, but even if I weren’t, I'd have to be anyway. Are you sure what you’re doing? Do you know the way?” I asked him.

“Yes, of course, Amathea, trust me and take my hand.” He offered his outstretched hand to me, urging me to take it.

I hesitantly took it and clasped my hand with his, trusting that he will keep me safe and trusting him that he will lead me to where I can truly be free.